Viewing Volume 9 Issue 4 Winter 2006
“Trauma and Grief”
Our traditional focus as bereavement counsellors has been on death at the microcosmic level: the dying person; the bereaved; suicide prevention; murder and manslaughter. Now we need to consider death at the macrocosmic level, that is, deaths that affect large numbers of people.
Each year more than 35 million people flee their homes as a result of war, crime, riots, political unrest, floods, earthquakes, terrorism and other forms of conflict and so called natural or man made disasters.
The media brings us terrible images of disasters from all corners of the globe on a daily basis. And the changing demographics of today’s family systems means that their loved ones could be working, living or holidaying abroad at times of a disaster.
Life can be described as one loss after another. The degree of recovery from each loss determines whether an individual regains a stable life or remains ‘disabled’. When losses occur the resulting sadness can eventually give way to a process of reorganisation that restore the person’s ability to function normally. People can maintain a satisfying, productive life despite seemingly overwhelming losses. As each death is unique there are still common emotional responses such as anger, shock, guilt, numbness, despair and fear that clients report.
The effects of traumatic bereavement are unique for each individual and vary in nature and intensity as we survive. As well as compounding the grief process, traumatic bereavement can lead to Post Traumatic Stress Disease or depression. Disbelief, fear and anxiety are normal adaptive responses to trauma. Trauma does not increase fear. In fact anxiety may increase if kept to one’s self. Explain to children that the same story may be repeated on TV news etc. but it does not mean it is happening over and over again. Survivor guilt and feelings of powerlessness in not being able to prevent the traumatic event may lead to us recognising our own emotional vulnerability. Identifying the reminders and triggers for intrusive reactions in the environment can enable the person to be more in control and knows what to expect. Life then is more predictable and less overwhelming. This can be especially important in cases where the media or legal system is involved. For example make a conscious decision not to have the TV on that day, or choose not to watch a film that depicts what happened on that day.
Triggers are personally related to the loved one who has died. It could be anything that impacts on our emotional, physical, behavioural, cognitive memories. It could be music, anniversaries, smells, sayings, actions, anything individual to those memories of their loved one. For the bereaved these triggers can actually bring them comfort by reassuring them that their loved one did exist.
In our work with bereaved people the complexities of their loss can sometimes push us beyond the constraints of grief theorists. Those who provide counselling and psychosocial support after a disaster have learnt much about traumatic bereavement, acute stress reactions and the resilience of people who may have faced multiple losses.
Making sense of the deceased’s life and death is a need felt by many mourners, (Neimeyer, 2005). They may talk, to themselves and others at length about the deceased’s life, (Walters, 1996), or recount over and over the details of the death. Bereavement support and counselling therapy may increasingly use a degree of narrative therapy. Everyone has a story to tell, none more so that after experiencing an incomprehensible loss. Sudden or unexpected traumatic death can be one such loss, (Norbury, 2004). Sudden death can cause spiritual unease, a wide range of feelings are experienced that can alter our integrity. It can cause people to question their beliefs, and to doubt the very meaning of life itself.
There is evidence that funeral directors can become a target for the anger of the bereaved for whom they are among the primary caregivers. While anger is recognised as a characteristic of the grieving process, analysis of the role of funeral directors reveal a number of areas where additional conflict can be generated. Brian Parsons article, (Mortality, 2003) examined why funeral directors are increasingly likely to face hostility and anger from bereaved relatives. This is partly to do with a general rise in willingness to challenge authority and seek redress. However, in the funeral industry it is also the result of the changing nature of the services provided and growing sophistication of the consumer – the bereaved.
There is much research comparing the mental state and bereavement reactions of individuals who have lost a loved one in a traumatic way. It is not always easy for family members to support one another and cope with their own grief at the same time. Lazarus & Folkman (1984) defined coping as a constantly changing cognitive and behavioural effort to manage a specific external and/or internal demand that is appraised as taxing and exceeding the resources of the person. Coping strategies used after a traumatic event are different from those used in normal life situations (Rando, 1993 ). The coping strategies employed after the traumatic death of a loved one elicits reactions that strain even the strongest person’s emotional capabilities to handle an event (Lazarus & Folkman, 1984).
A grief counsellor is a qualified generic counsellor who has specialised in loss issues from a specific solid base and theoretical underpinning of knowledge and research that enables the counsellor to empower the client to see an outcome and reorientation to life’s transition without their loved one. Lattanzi – Licht (1988) stated, “We cannot take people’s pain away. We can offer to stand with them in some critical moments in time, giving them time and a human message to continue on into the future”. The volunteers at the Grief Centre –MABF provide this for the bereaved.
By:A..E. Trinder-Brook . CT
MABF Spring Courses.
Introduction to Bereavement Counselling Skills.
7th, 14th & 21st February 2007.
Helping Young People Cope with Loss & Change Skills
March 21st, 28th & April 4th 2007.
These three day courses are ‘Awarding Body Consortium’ validated. They are designed to be experiential, and utilise a range of theories, models and current evidenced based practice.
The cost of each three day course is £198-00 including validation.
By:AT
DIARY DATES
Members Meetings.
6th February 2007
22nd May 2007
7th August 2007
6th November 2007
6.30 pm for 7 pm
At the Droylsden Office.
By:SFB
ANNUAL CONFERENCE
‘Growing Up With Grief’
Thursday 6th September 2007
At
Hough End Centre,
Mauldeth Road West,
Chorlton –cum—Hardy.
Manchester
Speakers for the day include:
Prof. Phyllis R. Silverman
Rev’d Prof. Stephen Wright.
Dr. David Trickey
Richard Rose.
Tamar Granot.
The Conference will be Chaired by:
Brenda Mallon (Vice Chair MABF)
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MABF Member 2006 £150
Non members £195
New Members 2007 £175
All delegates after 3rd Aug £225
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For information and booking please contact
The Grief Centre - MABF
Tel: 0161-371-8860
or
grief@ mabf.org.uk
By:SFB