Viewing Volume 7 Issue 2 Summer 2004
“MEANING IN LIFE, AND FAITH AFTER DEATH”
Everyone has a story to tell, none more so than when someone has suffered an incomprehensible loss. Sudden or unexpected death on a Coronary Care Unit (CCU), can be one such loss. Relatives of seven patients who died, told me their amazing story’s, during my research into ‘Sudden Bereavement in a Coronary Care Unit: A Phenomenological Study’. This report is not so much about the research, but the story’s that emerged about those suddenly bereaved, and their loved one’s, who died on CCU. I was the researcher, but, also a nurse. I did not just want to carry out a piece of research, for academic purposes, I wanted to gain an insight into a bereaved person’s world, so as to try to learn what they are experiencing, and also to find some meaning to their lives, after the death of a loved one. Those who were bereaved, and their story’s, which I encountered, touched me more than I could have ever imagined, more than a researcher, more than a nurse, they touched me as a person, that left me forever changed, this is my story.
The methodology of this study was qualitative, incorporating a phenomenological approach, an in depth look into someone’s life, following the death of a person very close to them. This study focused on what it felt, to suffer such a loss, and to investigate a meaning, to their experience.
According to a detailed search, no other published research has been carried out, investigating those who have been bereaved on a CCU. Various other studies have been carried out in other critical care areas, including Wright (1991) who researched those who were bereaved in accident and emergency, and Jackson (1998) who studied those bereaved in intensive care. According to Edwards and Shaw (1998), they thought that the unique characteristics of a death on CCU, could perhaps make the loss more difficult to come to terms with, as other aspects of CCU environment, which may act as variables in the grieving process. Wilson, Norbury and Richardson (2000) felt CCU deaths could be more traumatising, and this is an area that should be investigated, which was another reason for this study.
The main concern for me in commencing this study, was that no harm or distress would come to any of those people who were so kind enough to take part. I wanted them to tell their story, in a relaxed environment, which was usually their home, this proved to be conducive to providing an atmosphere for sharing some personal, and painful memories.
Faith can change someone's life, it can also change someone's death, as I have witnessed on many occasions. If a person has a faith, or religion, whatever the denomination, this research showed that that faith helped those who took part, to carry on their lives in such a way that grief was not as evident, or as acute, when one believes that those who have died, are in a better place, or with their god. Still having a spiritual connection with that person, be it in dreams, thoughts, or feelings, or a continuing dialogue, can go some way to helping to alleviating the sheer distress and hopelessness that death can bring, in these cases the deaths were sudden, and nearly all of them unexpected. According to Leibovici (2001) religion and prayer can make a difference to health and wellbeing, this was evident for those bereaved, who took part in this study.
Maintaining a relationship with the person who had died, still putting energy into that relationship, by means of thought, feelings and behaviour was sometimes considered in the past, as abnormal grief. Worden (1983) saw relocating emotional attachment as necessary to move on with life, this was not the case, as shown in this study. None of those I interviewed, withdrew any spiritual or emotional attachment, they had not moved on in that respect, nor did they want to, as with Silverman and Klass (1996) spiritual and emotional attachment was seen as normal, and provided the bereaved person, with a sense of support and comfort. Even after death, their bond had not been broken, because of their faith and belief, communication continued and proved to be a significant factor in how those I interviewed, mourned their loss, and expressed their grief.
Several occasions during the course of my interviews I experienced a sense of transcendence, going beyond myself, in a way that I have rarely known except when communicating with dying people, or at a time of death or bereavement. The last time I was affected by death and the bereaved person’s story, was on the first anniversary of the disasters in New York, on September 11th, when I was at Ground Zero. It is so difficult to put into words, it is beyond personal, it is noetic, feeling on another level or plain, as people told their story, sharing such an experience is unique, (Maslow 1971)
For me, since this research was completed, I have left CCU, and begun working at the Hospice, where everyday I am fortunate to experience, or witness spirituality. Working in Palliative Care, provides me with a sense of fulfilment that patients, and relatives, as well as the staffs spiritual needs, are recognised and understood, and those needs are met, more than in the acute settings. I believe that everyone has spiritual needs, which must be identified, and addressed. Spirituality can help provide meaning in our lives, as it did to most of those in this research, which helped to provide faith after death. Most of those wonderful people, whom it was my privilege to meet in this study, had a faith, and I witnessed how believing in something that is so strong, was one of the main factors of their bereavement and grief, that helped heal the heartache and sooth their soul ache.
By:Eric Norbury
Abridged version from an article in
‘Spirituality and Health International’ 2004 Vol.5 No:1 ISSN 1743-1867
Elisabeth Kübler-Ross
Obituary
Dr. Elisabeth Kübler-Ross, pioneer in the modern death awareness movement, died on 24th August 2004 at her home in Pheonix, Arizona. She was 78.
Kübler-Ross’s 1969 book, On Death and Dying (New York; Collier), is one of the most widely read secular works on the subject of death in the world and has been translated into 69 languages. Her conceptual model of five stages of dying—denial, anger, bargaining, depression and acceptance—has been applied universally to explain the subjective experience of loss. Even though “stage models” have fallen out of favour with contemporary theoreticians, her visionary thinking galvanised awareness of the experience of dying in a way no other had before her.
In 1995, ADEC honoured Dr. Elisabeth Kübler-Ross with its Lifetime Contribution to the Field of Thanatology Award given at the annual conference in Miami, Florida. “For 25 years she has been at the cutting edge of work in the field of death, dying and transition. She has humanised care of the dying for healthcare professionals and the general public. Her books, lectures and workshops have benefited millions of people all over the world.”
In a 1997 interview with Reuters, Kübler-Ross spoke about her approach to life and living. “I always did what felt right, not what other people expected of me. I never listened to other people’s opinions,” she said, “I’m sorry I don’t play an instrument, I would love to play and sing. (When I die) I’m going to dance first in all the galaxies… I’m going to play and dance and sing.”
Shortly before her death, Kübler-Ross had just completed her second book with co-author David Kessler, On Grief and Grieving, to be published next year by Simon and Schuster. Kessler, who was with Kübler-Ross when she died, wrote to friends, “...I can tell you that in her last days and last hours she did reach a point of peace and acceptance. Elisabeth died as she lived—authentically and in character, and in her way and in her own time.”
Jack Jordan spoke for many in ADEC when learning of her death, “She was a pioneer, a maverick, a revolutionary. She made us look where we did not want to look; she made us listen when we did not want to listen… May she rest in peace.”
By:ADEC
TRAINING COURSES
These courses will be held at the office in Droylsden
9am to 5pm on the dates shown below.
‘Introduction to Bereavement Counselling Skills’
Wednesdays: 13th, 20th & 27th October 2004
Level 1 validated by ABC
‘Helping Young People Cope with Loss & Change’
Thursdays: 7th, 14th & 21st October 2004
Level 1 validated by ABC and includes Law & Ethics
These courses are packaged to comply with
UK Bereavement Standards
If you are interested in any of these courses, please contact
The Grief Centre - MABF
By:AT/DF
DIARY DATES 2004
Forum Meetings.
Tuesday 12th October 2004
CBN @ 1pm
MABF @ 6-30 for 7pm
Thursday 2nd December 2004
CBN @ 1pm
MABF @ 6-30 for 7pm
By:AT
Bereavement & Loss Workshop
“Meeting the Spiritual Needs of the Grieving.”
Presented by
Professor J. D. (Jack) Morgan
from
The Grief Resource Centre, London, Ontario Canada
Friday 22nd October 2004
9-00 am to 1-00 pm
At the ‘Carol Nash’ Training Centre,
Atlantic Street, Altrincham.
Cost: £30 per delegate
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